I still love you.

Literally felt my heart break today…. Worst feeling ever.

I put on a good act…

I act like I’m strong and so independent but I’m really hurting so much inside. Losing my bestfriend, my love, my everything, has really taken a toll on me. Not talking to you everyday sucks. But this decision had to be made… It hurts me that I had to just push you away, even though you were trying so hard to get back with me. But deep inside I’m scared you’re just gonna go back to your old ways. That’s whats holding me back. I’m still so in love with you and care about you so much. But this is life and we have to learn to move on:/ I just hope one day we can be friends again, or maybe even more.

I miss you so much Tyler. Every single day something reminds me of you. I promise you will never be forgotten. It’s almost been a year without you, and today is no easier then the day it all happened. The day our lives came crashing down. What pains me most is seeing your mom and dad, my aunt and uncle. They are so strong. But I know they’re so broken inside. You were their first born, a pain in the ass, but non the less they loved you unconditionally. Like the rest of us. I never thought in a million years our family would have to go through such a tragedy. You were always our protector, and I get so mad cause I feel like we didn’t protect you the one time you needed us. I mean, I know there was nothing we could do, but I still get so mad! But please, watch over jarred carefully. He’s going down a road that I’m scared isn’t a good one. He cures his depression with drugs and drinking. I don’t think he’s let himself grieve. And I worry about him. And Taylor, oh is that little girl strong. You taught her well. But she still needs you there by her everyday. And Ty, I need you here everyday. We were just starting to stop being complete assholes to each other and actually develop a relationship, and it hurts me so much knowing we didn’t get to finish that journey. And please be with nick. He tries to say he’s okay and be strong. But I know he’s just doing it for me. He was your bestfriend and he needs you to be with him too. He’s one of the only people who understands what I’m going through with this. We all love you so much;* never forgotten, always remembered!